The implements of power collected, we could now set about the task of creating and enabling the doorway itself. While creating a Door is trivial, and decorating it with the bones of the famous only trivially harder, the actual binding of this endpoint to the other requires a sacrifice, specifically, at each terminus one must simultaneously shed the blood of something not three days old born in the world on the other side. Secrets gleefully volunteered to snatch a newborn baby in a display rather inconsistent with his alleged adherence to a religion of ostensible peace and love, and we set out by ship to the approximate vicinity of Lesser Thessaloniki, a no-longer-existing island of the coast of the Greece.
Once in the right spot, we came across a fishing boat that asked us why we were wandering around like idiots in the middle of the ocean, as if we were looking for something that wasn't there. Over the uninformed protests of my brethren, I declared that we were invited, which quickly led to our being shown the way in. Within, we met Threads, Measurement, and Endings, the three Ladies of the Chancel, which turned out to be a lovely little island of just the sort I'd intended to settle down on some day. They provided a kitten, and looked on in shocked horror when Secrets showed them the baby. Nevertheless, we dispatched two of our number back to the Library while I and Secrets enjoyed the hospitality of our neighbors. With a little coordination through the statues, we worked out the details, and made rather a mess of the sacrfices. I'm not sure how Ice managed to get so much gore out of one little kitten, and I really don't think I want to know, but at least we now have a rather useful doorway to an excellent place to visit. I look forward to fishing out here.
Evolution is proving to be a real problem. Not only is he completely incompetent even in his own alleged specialization, but he's unwilling to even try. When confronted by Set over the fact that he still hasn't done a damn thing about making aardvarks, fierce, respected, loved, feared, majestic, or anything else, he claims that they already are (wrong) and that actually doing anything would make them not aardvarks (wrong) so it's impossible and Set doesn't know what he's talking about (wrong, and a very bad thing to point out even if he was right, which he's not, without a great deal of tact, of which he has none). As a result, Set turned him into an aardvark.
You'd think this would have given him some impetus or perspective or something like that. Instead, he went to his room to sulk, and kept yelling at me through his statue when some of the locals came to cook him up for dinner. Really, the way to deal with things like this is to do something god-like. I think his stupid cat finally saved him. Then, he came up with some hare-brained plan involving armies of aardvarks descending on a city to eat an invasion of ants or something like that. Oh, which reminds, the ants would be there due to some light-in-the-tunnels trickery pulled off by Light, or maybe Darkness (he's very confused), the newest member of our increasingly-dysfunctional little Familia. He showed up around the same time Set did today, before the aardvarking.
In any case, I couldn't take this stupidity, so I decided to make use of the Door to see how things were going in Greece. They have excellent fishing over there. I shared the old family recipe for frying a fish with onions and serving it on flatbread while I griped about the state of things to Measurement, and she seems to agree wholeheartedly with most of my assessments.
Apparently, what with most of our Chancel being a frozen wasteland, the inhabitants are having some problems getting enough fresh water. Naturally, the solution is to set up a fountains or two. Unnaturally, the setup involves an infinitely long aqueduct brining in water from some place that doesn't exist with compressed lights to keep it from freezing. The resulting mass of ridiculous complexity is best summed up in it is indecipherable glory by the diagram my brethren worked out to "explain" what they were up to:
There, clear as the Tiber after a gladiator match.
As part of the renovations to the Chancel, Ice threatened/cajoled/tortured Evolution into putting up signs marking all the traps in the Labyrinth along the way to the gardens where the inhabitants grow food. Providing they pay attention, it should greatly reduce the unnecessary death rate we've observed at late. I appreciate Evolution's desire to test people. but really, he seems to think that everyone should fail!
Once that mess was done and we headed back onto Earth to see how things were going there, Ice discovered that his company had been hired to investigate some oddities on the bottom of the ocean. Specifically, sensor readings indicating large, pyramid-like objects down there. Having recently had run-ins with unruly pyramids, we decided to investigate. Having nothing better to do, I tagged along on his ocean voyage. No sooner did we find the pyramid at the bottom of the ocean than he freaked out and started teleporting back and forth to Egypt. In between brief stays, I was able to wring out of him that there's a pyramid at the bottom of the ocean, on a large flat plain, that's identical to the one in Giza. And made of magical unmelting ice. Disguised to look like stone. And, to quash the obvious explanation, the one he made at Giza, out of said unmelting ice, is still there and intact. Well, he's certainly got himself into a pickle there.
And, to top things off, we apparently have cultists. I gather that some religious nutjob dressed like an aardvark-man was apprehended at the Sphinx, burying objects of mystical power relating to the Estates of our Familia, which isn't too bad, along with large quantities of high explosives, which is. Monuments having an Anchor there at the time only makes this much worse. Of course, I'm halfway around the world on a ship, so I can't do much about. I swear, I should just have gone fishing today. It would have been more useful. Then I would have fish.
Ice and I continued our dives, investigating the nature of the ocean floor pyramid. A variety of experiments involving fragments of the two pyramids seem to indicate that the ocean one attempts to match the state of the Egyptian one. We still have no idea why. Getting little done, I decided to head back to the Chancel.
Simultaneously, back at the Chancel, Monuments returned Danny, the moronic would-be Sphinx bomber to us. Interrogation wasn't going so great, and he'd really pissed me off, so a quick miracle later, my statue was bleeding at him and *bam* he's anchored. Given the amount of traveling we do, being able to be in two places seems like it would be quite handy. Two places other than the Chancel's library, that is. Plus, he's a mole into the "Pharaoh's" organization. That should be useful too. And if he gets discovered, eh, no great loss. He's a bit deluded about cosmology, though. He'll need some straightening out. Possibly forcefully.
Never one to shirk at the blatant throwing about of miracles, Ice decided to destroy the pyramid under the sea. Amazingly enough, this did not lead to disaster. Yet. For his follow-up act, he decided that the one in Egypt needed to be cleansed, and that the best way to do was through murder. Pardon me, "sacrifice". He's trying to see if anyone has an anchor they don't need. I have to see, he's by far the creepiest weirdo I've ever met, and you should have seen some of the freaks back in the legion.
In any case, while he was up to destruction and death, the rest of us, at Light's behest, travelled to meet with Power of Rainbows. She and Light got along excellently, which is to say that she too is a babbling indecipherable nutter. Fortunately, this awkward social call didn't last long.
When we returned, we found a note awaiting me, nicely hand calligraphed from the Cammora. It appears they want me to "borrow" Ending's shears in exchange for the shipment I had them do a while back. This is outrageous, as inter-Power theft of magical artifacts of prime significance is an entirely different league than shipping mundane items past mortal authorities. I decided to grab the bull by the horns, and informed Endings that someone is out to nick her shears (while leaving out the niggling little detail that they wanted me to do it). She, unfortunately, was short on leads. I got Secrets to peek into the matter, but the Cammora themselves don't know who they're working for in this case. In fact, they were rather hoping to find out through my effecting the theft. I'm intrigued enough myself, and feel that it is the perfect opportunity to bait a trap. After all, if I can steal the shears from Endings, I can steal them from whoever wants them should they not honor the proposed terms of the exchange…